changes.

in the next month:
- school starts
- we move
- get a roommate
- sell both our cars
- buy one car to share
- colin may get a new job
- i may get a job

lot's of things happening, which i know is why half of my is freaking out. i have that gnawing-anxious feeling growing inside of my stomach. although i am excited for the change, it also terrifies me. this is probably due to my magical gift of developing incredibly outrageous "what-if" scenarios. I blame my parents' for allowing me to have an imagination. in all seriousness, i truly amaze myself in how much progress i've made. but it's interesting that at the same time, i never feel as though i've made enough. even when i realize how far i've come, and how obstacles keep growing & changing, but i'm still here. 2 years ago, all i had to deal with was just some anxiety issues. now i have health issues + anxiety issues. it makes me feel like my anxiety issues are nothing. even though i am fully aware they make dealing with my health issues much harder. sometimes it's frustrating because although my family is supportive, i feel as though they know so little that goes on. that this is not punishment for disobeying god. this is not an "upset stomach from nerves." the majority of the people i know dealing with this shit are on disability, barely making it through the day at home. it frustrates me that they can't see that. how much progress i've made.